I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
