So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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