And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
