I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
