She said her name was "party"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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