I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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