on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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