you guys were way drunker than both of me
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
