I can tuck mytits in my pants
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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