so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
