I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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