I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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