You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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