clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
