even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
