we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
