lets start a swedish sibling band together
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
