Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
