I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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