you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
