I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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