Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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