Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
