please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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