I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
