Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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