I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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