Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How's work?
Spinning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
