And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
