i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
