No awkward lesbian experiences without me
no you cant smoke seaweed
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
