Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
barbara walters just said penis...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
