Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
