I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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