it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
