okay pat passed out under dana's car
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
