how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
