so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
