Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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