I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Let's get the cat blown out
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
