is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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