I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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