And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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