I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
vagina is talking i cant
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize