Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
