so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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