I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Randomize
