There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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