My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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