Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize