Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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