Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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