i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
