Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
