i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
