You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
