I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
