what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
