...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
