ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
