Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
