dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
