I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
